Vacation and gossip
Beauty & Gladness; Ugliness & Sadness

Beauty

Today is the third day of my vacation.  It is late in the summer for our vacation but this year we (the whole family -- 14 of us) are not going to the beach.  My lamentation of that is unusual as there are three things I do not like about the beach: sand, saltwater and sun.  

But, what I do like about the beach is having all of my family together in one domicile, having every meal together and enjoying the noise and confusion of balancing the needs and desires of three generations, two (yes only two) genders and 14 people, each of whom is accustomed to giving directions and instructions.

This year we are going to the Texas Hill Country. It will be a new experience, but at a time in my life when the greatest value is found in the familiar.  We will have a great time but there is sadness mixed in with our gladness.

Carolyn's mother broke her second hip and will be dismissed from the hospital on Saturday, July 29, 2017, which is tomorrow.  Carolyn will be with her for at least a week and maybe longer.   I volunteered to go with her but she suggested that the only person requiring more care than her mother is me. Therefore, she determined that the best thing I can do for her is to go on vacation with the family.

I recognized the truth of what Carolyn said but objected to going on vacation without her, something which I have not done in 52 years.  From the first, I have objected to this. Carolyn has suggested that I was just being melodramatic UNTIL last night.

On Thursday evening the reality began to sink in and the Queen, who had labeled me the Drama King began to feel the drama.  It is still unclear where we will all end up tomorrow but I suspect that I will begin the vacation with the kids and end it with Carolyn.

Of course, we have become accustomed to our older grandchildren having complications for joining us.  For years we have been spoiled, as for 19 years they were always there.  This year and today, our daughter is sick -- not critically or chronically -- but seriously enough that I have recommended for her sake, that they not join us. Their oldest has not been with us for the past three years. I don't understand why the United States Army does not plan their activities around our vacations but they are funny that way.  The other three are also occupied.

Our memories sustain us in these absences.  It will be interesting to see how all of this plays out. What I am certain of is that as Carolyn travels east for three hours and I travel west for almost seven, the elasticity of our relationship will stretch to accommodate this strange occurrence.  I am equally certain that the resilience of our relationship will pull on us and that sometime before vacation is over, I will head east to be with Carolyn.

Ugliness

For several days, my thoughts have also been focused on ugliness.  The details of this occasion will be few as only four people know the particulars:  the one who wrote a letter, Carolyn and me, the ones who received the letter, and one with whom I shared the letter to test the validity of my judgment.  It is important that no one be able to "guess" who this story is about.

The letter in question reported inappropriate and ugly behavior.  My instance response was to doubt and then to reject the truth of the report.  Carolyn, not having experienced the events reported, nevertheless doubted them, also.  The other party who knows all involved agreed that the malicious accusations are not true.

Soon, I will address this with the letter writer.  

The sadness was created because the ugly remarks were made by a Caucasian about an African American.  I have known the Caucasian, to whom I am not related, for longer than I have known my wife and I have known the African American for less that a month.  I judge the latter to be incapable of what was accused.

How much evil could be averted if we simply have a highly developed intuitive sense of what is real and true and what is not.  In the past several days, I encountered a person in public.  40 years ago, I was told that this person's spouse was being unfaithful.  I intuitively knew that not to be true.

I told the gossip, "That is not true. If I hear that you have repeated that again, I will find you and take you to the other party and in their presence address your lies."   To this day, I have never heard that lie again. As I talked to this person's spouse this week, part of my smile was because he/she had never heard the lie.  The spouse has still not heard the lie.

Confronting Lies

Over thirty years ago, a man came to my medical office and asked me to do something which was immoral and illegal.  Before I could respond, he added, "and if you don't do this, I am going to tell your wife you are having an affair."

A clear conscience is a powerful weapon in battle.  My response to the man was to pick up the telephone and call Carolyn.  I told her what the man had said as he sat in my office listening. I then said, "I am going to let him tell you with whom I am having an affair."  

The man refused to take the phone.  As I told Carolyn that I would be home for lunch in thirty minutes, the man walked out of my office. I have never never seen him nor heard of him again.  It is amazing how evil flees in the face of truth and courage.

The Next 24 Hours

It will be interesting to see how the next 24 hours unfold.